I Was Shocked!!

For the past 3 days, Darren has been out of town, and I have been home alone with both of the boys.  Kasen has started back to school, and Kuper will not begin GA Pre-K until the end of August.  My days have been relatively quite, with no unexpected things blowing up, or breaking... Well, the air conditioner stopped working up stairs, but luckily I have a neighbor who is HVAC certified, so he came to the rescue.  The nights have been a little more stressful, because Kuper is going through a phase of "being scared".  He doesn't want to sleep by himself, so he gets in the bed with Kasen.  Well that's where things begin to drive me crazy.  This turns into a 2-3 hour ordeal every night with both of them fighting and arguing!!!  Last night was probably the worst of the nights.  I was at my limit with them, and decided I needed some girl time with my neighbor Lisa.  After our girl pow wow, and Darren finally getting home, I began to calm down a bit.  Around 11 p.m., Lisa went home and Darren and I went to bed.  It was a very restless night. I was up several times, tossing and turning, and finally felt I got to sleep around 4 or 5 this morning.  Darren was a superstar this morning, getting Kasen up and ready for the bus, and allowing me to sleep in. At some point Kuper had come into the bed with me, and sometime around 8:00 this morning I woke up to a bolt of electricity running through my body!  Oh my goodness....I was shocked!

One really can't imagine how many things can go through your mind in one single second.  The first thought I had was about my child.  I looked at him thinking I had killed him; he didn't move, and was sleeping so peacefully.  At that very moment, that was good for me.  "Well, the defibrillator works," was my second thought, and lastly I thought "I am thankful to be alive".   I made a phone call to Kris, my VAD Coordinator, and told her what happened.  She said to go have a full panel blood work-up done, so they could check my potassium and magnesium levels.   Along with my INR, everything was perfect!  I received a phone call late this afternoon letting me know that my heart was beating over 300 beats per minute, and this had happened several times.  Each time the defibrillator/pacemaker would pace my heart back into rhythm, but this particular time, I was shocked.
In the last couple of weeks, I have felt so good.  So good that I have tried to forget about my weak heart, all the medication I must take daily, or the fact I have a tube coming out of my abdomen.  I've started more and more activities, trying to believe that I am "normal" again.  This morning was just a reminder that I'm not "normal"...  A reminder that I have heart failure, and less than 3 months ago, I had a major surgery implanting a pump to my weakened heart.  
I was supposed to go to the clinic on August 19 for a full round of tests, however, they have changed my appointment to tomorrow.  I will have an EKG, an ultrasound, and several more test run, along with my antibodies checked.  These test will tell me if I might be able to go back on the transplant list.
With that said, here I am again on my knees, and asking for your prayers.
God reminds us everyday that while we are here, it's not what we have planned for our own lives, but what he has planned for us.
Many Blessings to you!