With each passing birthday, I can't help but notice how many people get discouraged with another digit added on that signifies how many years they've been on this earth. I was one of those people, thinking I didn't want to "grow old". I loathed the fact of getting older, and most of the time would do everything in my power to try and avoid it, to"stay young"....I will forever be 29! It wasn't until January that my perception started to change a bit.
When I was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure, I was immediately put through a series of test to find out how much fluid was on board, and what my heart was pumping out (That's called an ejection fraction, or EF). One of the first doctors assigned to my case was a young man, probably not much older than I, with an amazingly HORRIBLE attitude. He was with a group of Doctors, but for the most part I only met with him. He began testing immediately and after several blood tests and chest x-rays, many EKG's, and Echocardiograms, I was told I had an EF of only 10%. (Normal is 50 - 70%). He told me the chances of getting my EF above 12% would be nearly impossible. The "Dr" also told me that if I had any type of surgery where I was put under, that I would never wake up. The very next day I had the Head Cardiologist at Kennesaw take me to surgery, put me under, and did an angiogram.
At that very moment I thought I would die.
This year, my birthday wasn't about birthday wishes, but about all the many Birthday Blessings.... and I have so many to be thankful for! Yesterday, I turned 38 and I embraced the day with a very different attitude. I am so grateful to be alive! I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who loves me, and has been by my side through so much! I am so appreciative of my Mother and Mother-in-law, who have given me so much love and support, and to my friends, who have shown me that I will always have a shoulder to lean on, I am Blessed! Blessed beyond belief...
I look forward to celebrating many more birthdays, and celebrating life everyday. I want to grow old with Darren and watch our boys grow up. I want to experience our kids falling in love and getting married. I want grandchildren and great grand children. I want to tell my story over Thanksgiving dinner with a table full of family!
Although I still don't want to look or act old, I will cherish each and every birthday I get the pleasure of celebrating. May God Bless you, and grant you many Birthday Blessings.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I Was Shocked!!
For the past 3 days, Darren has been out of town, and I have been home alone with both of the boys. Kasen has started back to school, and Kuper will not begin GA Pre-K until the end of August. My days have been relatively quite, with no unexpected things blowing up, or breaking... Well, the air conditioner stopped working up stairs, but luckily I have a neighbor who is HVAC certified, so he came to the rescue. The nights have been a little more stressful, because Kuper is going through a phase of "being scared". He doesn't want to sleep by himself, so he gets in the bed with Kasen. Well that's where things begin to drive me crazy. This turns into a 2-3 hour ordeal every night with both of them fighting and arguing!!! Last night was probably the worst of the nights. I was at my limit with them, and decided I needed some girl time with my neighbor Lisa. After our girl pow wow, and Darren finally getting home, I began to calm down a bit. Around 11 p.m., Lisa went home and Darren and I went to bed. It was a very restless night. I was up several times, tossing and turning, and finally felt I got to sleep around 4 or 5 this morning. Darren was a superstar this morning, getting Kasen up and ready for the bus, and allowing me to sleep in. At some point Kuper had come into the bed with me, and sometime around 8:00 this morning I woke up to a bolt of electricity running through my body! Oh my goodness....I was shocked!
One really can't imagine how many things can go through your mind in one single second. The first thought I had was about my child. I looked at him thinking I had killed him; he didn't move, and was sleeping so peacefully. At that very moment, that was good for me. "Well, the defibrillator works," was my second thought, and lastly I thought "I am thankful to be alive". I made a phone call to Kris, my VAD Coordinator, and told her what happened. She said to go have a full panel blood work-up done, so they could check my potassium and magnesium levels. Along with my INR, everything was perfect! I received a phone call late this afternoon letting me know that my heart was beating over 300 beats per minute, and this had happened several times. Each time the defibrillator/pacemaker would pace my heart back into rhythm, but this particular time, I was shocked.
In the last couple of weeks, I have felt so good. So good that I have tried to forget about my weak heart, all the medication I must take daily, or the fact I have a tube coming out of my abdomen. I've started more and more activities, trying to believe that I am "normal" again. This morning was just a reminder that I'm not "normal"... A reminder that I have heart failure, and less than 3 months ago, I had a major surgery implanting a pump to my weakened heart.
I was supposed to go to the clinic on August 19 for a full round of tests, however, they have changed my appointment to tomorrow. I will have an EKG, an ultrasound, and several more test run, along with my antibodies checked. These test will tell me if I might be able to go back on the transplant list.
With that said, here I am again on my knees, and asking for your prayers.
God reminds us everyday that while we are here, it's not what we have planned for our own lives, but what he has planned for us.
Many Blessings to you!
One really can't imagine how many things can go through your mind in one single second. The first thought I had was about my child. I looked at him thinking I had killed him; he didn't move, and was sleeping so peacefully. At that very moment, that was good for me. "Well, the defibrillator works," was my second thought, and lastly I thought "I am thankful to be alive". I made a phone call to Kris, my VAD Coordinator, and told her what happened. She said to go have a full panel blood work-up done, so they could check my potassium and magnesium levels. Along with my INR, everything was perfect! I received a phone call late this afternoon letting me know that my heart was beating over 300 beats per minute, and this had happened several times. Each time the defibrillator/pacemaker would pace my heart back into rhythm, but this particular time, I was shocked.
In the last couple of weeks, I have felt so good. So good that I have tried to forget about my weak heart, all the medication I must take daily, or the fact I have a tube coming out of my abdomen. I've started more and more activities, trying to believe that I am "normal" again. This morning was just a reminder that I'm not "normal"... A reminder that I have heart failure, and less than 3 months ago, I had a major surgery implanting a pump to my weakened heart.
I was supposed to go to the clinic on August 19 for a full round of tests, however, they have changed my appointment to tomorrow. I will have an EKG, an ultrasound, and several more test run, along with my antibodies checked. These test will tell me if I might be able to go back on the transplant list.
With that said, here I am again on my knees, and asking for your prayers.
God reminds us everyday that while we are here, it's not what we have planned for our own lives, but what he has planned for us.
Many Blessings to you!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The window is open!
It is with great sadness to be writing this...
Early this morning, Brandon Butcher lost his long battle with heart disease. As I said before, all of us "LVADer's" on Face Book have become very close, and we are all like family. We support each other, and we all know what each one has gone through. When one family receives a heart, all of our hearts are full of joy, when someone is in pain, we all hurt, because we've probably been there before, and when someone loses their battle, it puts everything back into perspective and we all stick together in prayer!! Brandon was probably one of, if not the youngest person in our group with an LVAD. He was married to Kari, a warrior, who cared for him in an amazing way, never leaving his side, and kept us all posted on his progress. Not once did Kari ask why this was happening to her, or her family? Not once was she negative, or had a negative thing to say. She reached out and asked for prayers and support. As one LVADer said, "When Prayers go up, Blessings come down", and that is exactly what happened. Kari has been blessed with two beautiful boys and loving friends and family (near and far) that will smother her with support and love!! God never leads us to an experience without helping us through it. Just remember we must be the one to ask for His guidance. I am attaching her beautiful story she sent this morning. Please say a prayer for her, and for the family. Kari needs all the love and support she can get.
I am VERY sorry to tell everyone this, but Brandon lost his battle this morning. He is right where he belongs and has no pain. He went comfortably and he knew. He asked his mom to open the window. And when he was going, I told him "Brandon, the window is open, fly away home". And he did, I saw it with my own eyes, his eyes went straight to the window... I'm so much more at peace knowing that God is taking care of him now. Thank you to each and every one of you for all of the prayers, and advice, and well wishes. I will never be able to say that enough.. And I will always be an LVAD WARRIOR! ~ Kari
May God Bless you Kari, and your Family, and may Brandon finally rest in peace.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Prayers for my Brothers
I need your help!! PRAYERS......
When I had surgery in May, I never imagined getting to meet some of God's most amazing miracles. I have had the pleasure of becoming part of a wonderful group on Face Book called the LVAD Friends. There are about 50 of us and we are growing strong. We all ask questions, talk about everyday life, and most importantly, we all pray for each other!
There are two people I would like all of you to say prayers for. Chris Lockhart and Brandon Butcher. Both of them are in critical condition, and need God's healing hand!
Brandon has an LVAD and is in the hospital. Unfortunately the right side of his heart is suffering and his liver is failing. The Dr's have told him, "IF he goes home, he will have several very INTENSE months". There is much more to his story, but these are the latest things, and he needs OUR prayers.
I met Chris when he was in the hospital in June. He is 38, and has suffered from Heart Failure for 10 years. With much hesitation, he had an LVAD put in about 3 weeks ago, and had a follow-up this week. They kept him in the hospital because apparently his pump has been "striking". They are running test, but may have to replace the pump.... That means he will have to go through a second open heart surgery. I CAN NOT imagine what that pain must feel like. The first one is horrible, I certainly wouldn't want to have a second one...3 weeks later!!
Please lift Chris and Brandon up in your prayers!!! I will keep you posted on them as soon I as hear something.
May God Bless you, and Thank you!
When I had surgery in May, I never imagined getting to meet some of God's most amazing miracles. I have had the pleasure of becoming part of a wonderful group on Face Book called the LVAD Friends. There are about 50 of us and we are growing strong. We all ask questions, talk about everyday life, and most importantly, we all pray for each other!
There are two people I would like all of you to say prayers for. Chris Lockhart and Brandon Butcher. Both of them are in critical condition, and need God's healing hand!
Brandon has an LVAD and is in the hospital. Unfortunately the right side of his heart is suffering and his liver is failing. The Dr's have told him, "IF he goes home, he will have several very INTENSE months". There is much more to his story, but these are the latest things, and he needs OUR prayers.
I met Chris when he was in the hospital in June. He is 38, and has suffered from Heart Failure for 10 years. With much hesitation, he had an LVAD put in about 3 weeks ago, and had a follow-up this week. They kept him in the hospital because apparently his pump has been "striking". They are running test, but may have to replace the pump.... That means he will have to go through a second open heart surgery. I CAN NOT imagine what that pain must feel like. The first one is horrible, I certainly wouldn't want to have a second one...3 weeks later!!
Please lift Chris and Brandon up in your prayers!!! I will keep you posted on them as soon I as hear something.
May God Bless you, and Thank you!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Routine Dr.'s Visit
Last Monday I had a visit to the LVAD Clinic, and it was a great visit. My left lung was clear of all the fluid, (thank God) which has resulted in breathing much better. :) When we first found out I was going to have this LVAD, we knew I was going to need 24/7 supervision for 3 months. I have been blessed to have my Mother staying with us Monday - Friday. She never hesitated when the question was asked who would be able to do it, she has cooked, cleaned, and done our laundry for months. My two questions during last weeks visit, were "When can I take a shower", and "Do I still need to have care/supervision"? I received a super cool shower bag, and was told I no longer needed 24 hour care. While I was ecstatic about taking a shower, I couldn't imagine not having my mom here with me. She's always been my best friend, and to have her live with us was such a blessing. I know the boys probably made her tick, along with trying to keep the house clean and organized, monitoring me, and never finishing laundry.... We never had dirty clothes. :) Yesterday was my first full day without Mom and with Kuper watching Little Bill over and over. I do miss my Mom, because it's not quite the same without her here, however, I am extremely thrilled she is now back with my Dad. Health wise, he is not doing so great either, so having her back makes me feel much more comfortable.
I will visit the coumadin clinic this week to have my INR checked, and I don't go back to the LVAD clinic until August 19. The next visit to the LVAD clinic will be my 3 month check up, and this visit will be a very important one. I will have a series of test done to determine if my heart is healing, which will include an Echo to see if the ejection fraction has increased. I am asking for prayers for healing. I know God has been with me each step in this journey, and whatever the outcome, there is a lesson. My lesson throughout this journey has been patience. I have learned that my plans are not necessarily what God has planned for me, so whatever he has in store for me, I will be faithful to him and take what he gives me.
Take care and may God Bless You
I will visit the coumadin clinic this week to have my INR checked, and I don't go back to the LVAD clinic until August 19. The next visit to the LVAD clinic will be my 3 month check up, and this visit will be a very important one. I will have a series of test done to determine if my heart is healing, which will include an Echo to see if the ejection fraction has increased. I am asking for prayers for healing. I know God has been with me each step in this journey, and whatever the outcome, there is a lesson. My lesson throughout this journey has been patience. I have learned that my plans are not necessarily what God has planned for me, so whatever he has in store for me, I will be faithful to him and take what he gives me.
Take care and may God Bless You
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