I Was Shocked!!

For the past 3 days, Darren has been out of town, and I have been home alone with both of the boys.  Kasen has started back to school, and Kuper will not begin GA Pre-K until the end of August.  My days have been relatively quite, with no unexpected things blowing up, or breaking... Well, the air conditioner stopped working up stairs, but luckily I have a neighbor who is HVAC certified, so he came to the rescue.  The nights have been a little more stressful, because Kuper is going through a phase of "being scared".  He doesn't want to sleep by himself, so he gets in the bed with Kasen.  Well that's where things begin to drive me crazy.  This turns into a 2-3 hour ordeal every night with both of them fighting and arguing!!!  Last night was probably the worst of the nights.  I was at my limit with them, and decided I needed some girl time with my neighbor Lisa.  After our girl pow wow, and Darren finally getting home, I began to calm down a bit.  Around 11 p.m., Lisa went home and Darren and I went to bed.  It was a very restless night. I was up several times, tossing and turning, and finally felt I got to sleep around 4 or 5 this morning.  Darren was a superstar this morning, getting Kasen up and ready for the bus, and allowing me to sleep in. At some point Kuper had come into the bed with me, and sometime around 8:00 this morning I woke up to a bolt of electricity running through my body!  Oh my goodness....I was shocked!

One really can't imagine how many things can go through your mind in one single second.  The first thought I had was about my child.  I looked at him thinking I had killed him; he didn't move, and was sleeping so peacefully.  At that very moment, that was good for me.  "Well, the defibrillator works," was my second thought, and lastly I thought "I am thankful to be alive".   I made a phone call to Kris, my VAD Coordinator, and told her what happened.  She said to go have a full panel blood work-up done, so they could check my potassium and magnesium levels.   Along with my INR, everything was perfect!  I received a phone call late this afternoon letting me know that my heart was beating over 300 beats per minute, and this had happened several times.  Each time the defibrillator/pacemaker would pace my heart back into rhythm, but this particular time, I was shocked.
In the last couple of weeks, I have felt so good.  So good that I have tried to forget about my weak heart, all the medication I must take daily, or the fact I have a tube coming out of my abdomen.  I've started more and more activities, trying to believe that I am "normal" again.  This morning was just a reminder that I'm not "normal"...  A reminder that I have heart failure, and less than 3 months ago, I had a major surgery implanting a pump to my weakened heart.  
I was supposed to go to the clinic on August 19 for a full round of tests, however, they have changed my appointment to tomorrow.  I will have an EKG, an ultrasound, and several more test run, along with my antibodies checked.  These test will tell me if I might be able to go back on the transplant list.
With that said, here I am again on my knees, and asking for your prayers.
God reminds us everyday that while we are here, it's not what we have planned for our own lives, but what he has planned for us.
Many Blessings to you!

The window is open!

It is with great sadness to be writing this...

Early this morning, Brandon Butcher lost his long battle with heart disease.  As I said before, all of us "LVADer's" on Face Book have become very close, and we are all like family.  We support each other, and we all know what each one has gone through.  When one family receives a heart, all of our hearts are full of joy, when someone is in pain, we all hurt, because we've probably been there before, and when someone loses their battle, it puts everything back into perspective and we all stick together in prayer!!  Brandon was probably one of, if not the youngest person in our group with an LVAD.  He was married to Kari, a warrior, who cared for him in an amazing way, never leaving his side, and kept us all posted on his progress.  Not once did Kari ask why this was happening to her, or her family?  Not once was she negative, or had a negative thing to say.  She reached out and asked for prayers and support.  As one LVADer said, "When Prayers go up, Blessings come down", and that is exactly what happened.  Kari has been blessed with two beautiful boys and loving friends and family (near and far) that will smother her with support and love!!  God never leads us to an experience without helping us through it. Just remember we must be the one to ask for His guidance.   I am attaching her beautiful story she sent this morning.  Please say a prayer for her, and for the family.  Kari needs all the love and support she can get.  

I am VERY sorry to tell everyone this, but Brandon lost his battle this morning. He is right where he belongs and has no pain. He went comfortably and he knew. He asked his mom to open the window. And when he was going, I told him "Brandon, the window is open, fly away home". And he did, I saw it with my own eyes, his eyes went straight to the window... I'm so much more at peace knowing that God is taking care of him now. Thank you to each and every one of you for all of the prayers, and advice, and well wishes. I will never be able to say that enough.. And I will always be an LVAD WARRIOR! ~ Kari

May God Bless you Kari, and your Family, and may Brandon finally rest in peace.